


you and your filthy beauty

by leviadrache



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Abusive Relationships, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7459968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviadrache/pseuds/leviadrache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because beauty is eternal, eternal in a way that feelings can never be. - Miwa/Ren/Kai</p>
            </blockquote>





	you and your filthy beauty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HolyEmpress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyEmpress/gifts).



> set in the [psyqualia!miwa au](http://archiveofourown.org/series/489256) by HolyEmpress. hope you like it!

 Their positions on the couch in Ren's apartment is something that doesn't change. From the first time the three sat on there, up to today, it is always the same. Kai's spot in the middle of Ren and Miwa, his head either against Miwa's shoulder or on his lap, his hand tightly held by Ren.

“You didn't wash your hair, did you?” Miwa asks, his voice curious, caring, almost gentle. Kai feels his heart drop. Something in his stomach churns. He doesn't dare to raise his voice, until Ren chimes in.

“Kaii~,” his voice is so unlike Miwa's, childish and needy. It's as if Ren is the kid to Miwa's caring, almost parenting attitude. He moves closer to Kai, letting go of his hand to run it over his cheek. “He asked you a question. It's impolite if you don't reply.”

“I did it yesterday,” Kai admits and flinches when Miwa stops stroking his hair for a moment. Mentally, he prepares himself for some form of punishment – how does he dare to show up here at anything less than his best. Ren and Miwa only rarely were satisfied with him in his best state, so anything less then that would, of course, be a disappointment. “I was busy today, I'm sorry,” he adds, hoping that an apology would help. If there's one thing he learned after all the time he spend in those four walls, it's that giving away his pride willingly is much easier than he always thought – and definitely easier than if it's taken away from him in small bits, cruelly.

Ren lays his head on Kai's shoulder and hugs his arm, while Miwa stays silent. Silence is never a good sign. It shows that Miwa is thinking about what to do next. Thinking of ways to punish and humiliate Kai usually takes longer than when he thinks of ways to reward Kai. Even in his current state, Kai noticed that praise comes from Miwa's lips much more easily than insults. It's a small detail, but it gives Kai hope that maybe, underneath this facade, underneath Psyqualia, there is still his old friend. The old friend who always watched him. It's a shame that Kai only notices these small things about Miwa now, in situations like this. Something, one of the few things in his life, he deeply regrets.

“Too busy to care about us, huh?” Miwa mutters, still lost in thought. “I guess the famous Kai Toshiki has more important matters to worry about.” His hand tightens in Kai's hair for a second, but it loosens just as quickly that it might have just been Kai's imagination. “You're too sensitive.”

“Oh, he is, he is!” Ren agrees. He is almost sitting in Kai's lip, when he leans over to let his lips meet Kai's. It's a short chaste kiss. With Miwa's hands in his hair, just the physical contact from those two gives Kai warm feeling, like he has two people who take care of him. But even when his skin could be fooled my their gestures, his head is pounding, hurting. Since he has no permission to take action or raise his voice, he let Ren be, even when the kiss turned from gentle to passionate to hungry, almost violent. He does his best to keep his voice and any possible reaction in, but then he feels Miwa's lips on the shell of his ear and can't help the gasp that escapes his lips.

“I _loved_ you, Kai Toshiki.”

Miwa's hands find their way onto Kai's shoulders. Even though Ren still kisses him, his complete attention rests on the way Miwa starts to massage his shoulders. Ren notices that too, because he hums against Kai's lips, his kisses getting more and more needy. Kai's body is lump in between them, all of his muscles refusing to work. As if even his body realized that's it the best to listen to Ren and Miwa's commands. Miwa, his oh so close best friend.

“Such a shame you're an asshole.”

Lips still close, so close to Kai's ear, Miwa's hands travel from his shoulders to his back. Kai shivers when they trace his sides, which makes Ren smile against his lips. He stops the kisses on Kai's lips and moves lower, to Kai's collarbones and neck.

The two of them are a perfect duo at this. Miwa's caring side and Ren's seductive side playing together so well that it leaves Kai aching, his heart beating so fast and yet, it feels like it stopped beating at all. He wonders if, in a perfect world, they could have been together like this under different circumstances. Where ones pain didn't please the other, where they aimed for the same thing.

But he just lives in the normal world, with normal people.

“Filthy,” Miwa comments. His hands leave Kai's body. He can't see what Miwa does exactly. Ren leans back too, and then he feels Miwa tug on the hem of his shirt. “Did you even shower at all?”

“Yesterday,” Kai replies again. He closes his eyes and doesn't see who of them pulls his shirt over his head, but once his torso is bare, he feels Miwa's fingers on his back.

“You're drenched in sweat. How disgusting. Do you really think anyone wants to touch you like this?”

Ren, who leans back in to place kisses over his chest, doesn't seem to mind the cold sweat on his body. Miwa continues his massage too, his fingers skilfully easing the muscles of Kai's back and shoulders – and just as skilfully ignore the scars and bruises that cover most of Kai's body.

Then suddenly, both of them pull away and Kai's alone on the couch. He shivers, feeling cold without their warm bodies right next to his, but also because he dreads what's about to come. It is still too early for them to leave him alone, but if they don't want to stay on the couch usually is a bad sign for him. On the couch, they usually cuddle Kai and play with his hair. They aren't as generous to him in other places of the apartment.

“Come on.” Miwa holds out his hand. Kai, left with no other choice, takes it quickly and lets himself be pulled up by Miwa. They stand there for a while, as Miwa observes Kai. His right hand is held firmly by Miwa's left, when he puts his right one into Kai's hair to pull him closer for a kiss.

A kiss completely different from Ren's. One that leaves him breathless.

Kai can't tell how much time passes until Miwa pulls away, but by then, his knees are weak, shaking. Two hands on his shoulders keep him from falling back to the couch.

“Let's go,” Ren murmurs into his ear. “Time to take a bath.”

Everytime he is here, Kai can't help but notice how huge Ren's apartment is. The way to the bathroom seems to take ages. He is too dizzy to pay much attention to his surroundings. Once they are in the bathroom, he feels Ren behind him, pulling down his jeans without a word. His hand is still in Miwa's.

The grey eyes that find his green ones don't look tired. There's curiously, anticipation. Just the hint of a smirk on Miwa's face. To his relief, Ren didn't pull down his boxers, because being completely bare with Miwa's eyes watching him like this doesn't seem nice. Even now, Kai already feels very vulnerable in the middle of those two, being looked at like he was their prey.

They sit him down on the small chair next to the shower. Miwa stands behind him. Two hands touch Kai's shoulders. He watches as Ren pulls out a cloth from one of the countless drawers and lets water run over it in the sink. Meanwhile Miwa's hands caress his skin and massage his tense shoulders.

“You need to take better care of your body,” Miwa scolds him gently and for a moment it feels like his best friend is back. How often he told Kai to take better care of himself and how often Kai simply ignored it. If he only smiled back at Miwa every time he said something like this, or hell, smiled at Miwa just every tenth time, maybe it wouldn't have come this far. “It's important, you know. After all that pretty face of yours is the only good thing about you.”

Miwa's fingers find their way over Kai's neck and collarbones to his cheeks. He strokes the skin too, his touch lighter and softer than ever before. It hurts.

Ren joins them soon enough, sitting down on his knees in front of Kai. There's a grin on his face, which makes it easy to tell that he finds their positions amusing. He brings the cloth to Kai's chest and starts to rub over his skin. It's cold and Kai shivers, but the motion makes it soothing. The muscles in Kai's body don't seem to mind the cold too much, since he's used to taking cold showers.

“Don't listen to Miwa to much, Kai You have a lot of other good qualities,” Ren says after a while. “Your voice for example. It sounds very cute when you cry.”

The two of them laugh, but neither of them sound happy. Kai wants to look at Miwa, but he's scared. Scared because neither of them allowed them to turn around and scared to see what has become of Miwa. The focused and calm expression on Ren's face as he laughed and humiliates Kai is already hard enough to bear. To see Miwa with this expression … it's not something he wants.

Though on the other hand, they wouldn't be here if Kai didn't always ignore Miwa.

The massage actually helps to loosen his tense muscles, but it doesn't help against the pain in his stomach. Once Ren is done with cleaning Kai's chest, he gets up and lets water run into the bathtub. The moment Ren turns away, Miwa touches Kai's hair and leans down to press a kiss on Kai's hair.

“It smells,” he informs Kai. “You're filthy.”

Kai shudders as Miwa leaves the next kiss on his forehead, another one on his cheeks. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up when Miwa kisses his lips. Softly and carefully. Then, with strength someone wouldn't expect from Miwa, he picks Kai up to carry him bridal style.

Looking up towards Miwa, it's funny, because it reminds Kai of their childhood. That one time Kai got too eager and tried to climb a tree in the school yard. Although Miwa told him it was a stupid thing to try, he was the one to carry Kai to the nurse office when his ankle hurt to much to walk. He put up with the whiny kid Kai used to be, no matter what Kai did. Maybe being obedient now is one way to thank Miwa.

Silently and with his teeth tightly clasped on each other, Kai swallow.

“Let's take a bath together, okay? Maybe that'll make your filthy and worthless face pretty again?”

_A filthy person that loved you too_ , Kai doesn't say, as he tries to get accustomed to the spot between Ren and Miwa in the tub. Not that he has a choice in this matter anyway.

 


End file.
